Howdy Y’all! (Because that’s how we really talk down in this neck of the woods). If you're reading this post, then I assume you found us at the Ultimate Blog Party 2012.
If you didn’t, here’s a little background on #UBP12 (the cool way of referring to this giant orgy). It’s a great idea where a bunch of similary styled bloggers link up with one another. Which basically makes us sarcastic sluts, but I don’t think you can catch an STD from HTML programming. Actually, I think if you really like HTML programming (like I do, natch), then your odds of catching an STD the old-fashioned way are statistically pretty low. I digress.
Anyway, to join this party, each blogger is required to write a little intro (that’s what this is) and then we just bed hop around (using only 1’s and 0’s) and visit each other. Which is actually really cool, because the writers behind our other favorite snarky mom bloggers are not only funny as hell, they are a nice group of bitches too. And if you don’t believe me, read our support of a fellow mommy blogger.
Back to our intro. Our motto is “Watching People Get Offended by
Crap on Facebook Really Makes Our Day!” See, we even made a picture of it.
But it’s not just Facebook troll baiting that gives us the giggle
fits. Oh no. Stacy, in particular, is a master of
people on the Yahoo! Boards. It’s really
quite genius. I (Kimberly) on the other
hand, am really not that clever conversationally, but I am fairly deft at
pointing out jealousy, stupidity, hypocrisy and sanctimoniousness (here, here and here).
So basically, we are Two Funny Mommies. Stacy, married, lives in Houston and is the mom of a five-year old girl named “the girl”. Kimberly, divorced, lives in Memphis and is mom of a four-year old boy named “the boy”. However, in all of her posts, the single mommy only writes about imaginary children because of a delightful little letter she received from her adulterous ex-husband’s divorce attorney. Both Stacy and Kimberly are members of the “One And Done” Club. We’ve never actually met in person, but the single mommy went to college with the husband of the married mommy. The married mommy works full-time as her five-year old’s “bitch”; the single mommy owns her own bank consulting firm.
They became friends on Facebook and found in each other kindred spirits. And by kindred, they saw the same acerbic and dry-witted sense of humor with little to no tolerance for stupidity, ignorance or “those mommies”. You know them. Those who have too much time on their hands, whose kids “excel” at everything, who never leave the house without a full face of makeup on and who get their panties in a wad at the tiniest little perceived slight. If that sounds familiar or hits way too close to home, then this site isn't for you. For everybody else, enjoy!!
You can follow us on Facebook (Two Too Smart, Smartass Mommies), Twitter (@SmartassMommies) and even Google+ (Two Too Smart, Smartass Mommies), but the easiest way is to just subscribe to our blog Two Too Smart, Smartass Mommies! It would be a lot cooler if you did.
On our site, all names and faces have been deliberately erased, modified and/or obscured to protect the innocent and dumb (most of the time).
Warning: If you are easily offended, can't take a joke and things like irony and sarcasm are lost on you, leave now. Seriously. Go away.