The Rise of “Mommy Porn” (Pun Intended)

Well, now I’m just annoyed.

Why are things like Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey such a big, damn deal?

Why is the phrase “Mommy Porn” or “Housewife Porn” even being kicked around??

By default, does that make all other porn “Daddy Porn”???

But of course the best part about all of it is seeing lots of ladies pretty little panties getting into very, very tight little wads.

The atrocious grammar on the opening page of "50 Shades of Grey" was punishment enough for me.

Personally, I thought 50 Shades of Grey was just plain silly.  The writing was vapid, the protagonists were one-dimensional and the sex scenes were not that inspiring nor even interesting.  So far, I’ve only read the first book, and I will continue to dislike the series until the very last page of book 3.

I don’t like it, but I’m not not going to read it.

However, quite a few are getting right on up on their little moral high horse about why they are not reading it.  Basically, her reasoning behind not reading the book is that sex should only be between a husband and a wife.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

That’s totally fine and she is obviously completely entitled to her opinion.  However, keep in mind that it’s a moral tirade against a work of fiction that she hasn’t even read.

(And I always laugh when some right-wing conservative starts ranting and raving about what sex and marriage SHOULD be.  It seems like a vast majority of the time, these Bible thumpers are always the ones caught with a same sex, underage prostitute, especially if they are in politics.)

So feel free to judge away ladies.  It’s your God-given right.  However, since the book has sold more than 31 MILLION copies and is “breaking the Harry Potter record for fastest-selling paperback of all time,” I’m going to go ahead and say that you are in the minority so please just ignore me while I pull out my copy at the local Starbucks.


Now jumping onto Magic Mike (again, pun intended).  I came across a Facebook rant from a female in her late 30s about how she went to see this movie and her post about it went something like this (ish):

Just a note: drug use absolutely is NOT tolerated even in a movie.  Totally made me disgusted with the whole movie so thumbs down to Magic Mike.

You went to see a movie about male strippers and your only “takeaway” was that you have a problem with fictionalized drug use???

What did you WANT the strippers to be doing when, you know, they’re not stripping?!?  Be door-to-door Bible salesmen???

(Note:  I do NOT think that all strippers use drugs nor do I think that strippers can’t also be Bible salesmen.  It is simply an outlandish metaphor to highlight the ridiculousness of her soapbox).

So just in case anybody here walks away from Magic Mike disappointed because they had Capraesque expectations of this film, please let me reiterate (Spoiler Alert ahead):


It. Is. A. Movie. About. Male. Strippers.
Seriously, does it even MATTER what the plot is or the “quality” of the dialogue??
For all I care, these guys could get onscreen and read the U.S. Tax Code for two hours.
(Actually, I wouldn’t mind if they did.)


So at the end of the day, take all of this “Mommy Porn” for what it’s worth:  escape fiction.

And for all you guys out there crying and pouting about how these works only serve to raise women’s expectations of what men should look like, do and/or say??

To that I say, “WELCOME TO OUR WORLD BITCHES!!

Now you know how we feel when we know you’re watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show every year.  It’s OUR turn!!

© Two too smart, smartass mommies 2011