Physically Getting Out of the House in the Morning

After you have kids, you seriously wonder what you did with all of that time that you had before kids.  You know you would sleep in late on the weekends, but at the most that only explains a few hours of what I now fondly remember as “empty time”.  Seriously, what the fuck did you do all day??  Personally, I honestly can’t remember.

What I DO remember is how easy to used to be to get out of the house in the morning and get my day going.  It was all about me, me, me.  I could wake up, throw my hair in a ponytail, grab a cup of coffee, and be out the door in 20 minutes tops, if necessary.  Now . . . .not so much.  Now I have this tiny little human to look after and getting out of the house in the morning (to work, to school, to a playdate . . . it doesn’t matter), is like moving the Third Battalion.

Seriously, words don’t even describe the level of precision, execution, timing and strategizing involved and required in achieving the goal of successfully getting out of the house in the morning.  Getting out of the house on time is completely optional and arbitrary and therefore, I can’t even be bothered to discuss it.

Sometimes, I don’t even leave the house because it’s just too damn much work.

So I thought I would just draw a picture.  And by “draw” I mean “use my computer to create it” and by “picture” I mean “a PDF” file.  Because that’s just how I roll . . . . 

Steps Required to Get Out of the House Before Kids

Steps Required to Get Out of the House After Kids
© Two too smart, smartass mommies 2011