Anthropomorphic Turkeys: Eating Your Pets for Thanksgiving

Actual note from my daughter’s teacher:

Hello Everyone,

Tomorrow is our Thanksgiving Feast.  We will join the other preschool classes in the Fellowship Hall for lunch.  The menu is turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, cranberry sauce and rolls.  After that, we will continue our study of the Pilgrims, the Native American Indians and turkeys.  I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

~Mrs. Sherry

My response:

Dear Mrs. Sherry,

I'm sure “the girl” will be looking forward to the upcoming Thanksgiving feast.  Good luck trying to get her to eat the turkey though.  Ever since you sent her home with the assignment to dress up a paper turkey in disguise so the farmer wouldn't find it, she has been traumatized.  Once we told her the farmer planned to eat the turkey, we have been forced to change the name of all turkey-related products.  Now everything is known as “chicken.”  Apparently she doesn't give a crap about chickens.  As far as the Pilgrims and Indians go, I know you normally dress the older kids up as Pilgrims and the younger ones get to be the Indians.  That's not going to happen this year.  The girl’s great grandfather was a pure blood Navajo so she will be dressed as an Indian.  Also we would like you to go ahead and give the Pilgrims fair warning, payback is going to be a bitch!

Have a happy holiday.  I will be there at 2 pm to pick my little “savage” up.  Nizhónígo Nee Ado’ááł.


© Two too smart, smartass mommies 2011